Amara is gone :'(

So this morning it happened. I woke up and Chase was screaming for me. I went in and checked on them and saw Amara lying on the bed area, dead. She'd died in the middle of the night obviously. I'm tired right now and very sad. She fought so long and hard, but had all the same problems as Haley did. What I'm most sad about is the fact that I wasn't with her when she died. I was with the other two and was holding them when they passed. With Amara? I wasn't there. [tearing up] That is what is hardest.

[deep breath] Amara had the same problems that Haley did. It simply took longer to affect her since she was a lot stronger. I wish that something could've been done. I tried the vitamins, tried everything I could. Nothing worked with her, same as the other two. She had all the same problems. Minus the sneezing. She had more of the sound in her nose/mouth area when she breathed ...

Chase is sad too. She calls for me when I'm not in the room. I took her out earlier and put her on a shirt on my bed. She walked over to me and nuzzled my face, then got as close to my nose as possible, and went to sleep. She's also been having the sounds when she breathes, like the other three. Let's just hope this one survives. She's always been the one that wanted me in the beginning, like Amara, so I'll be reallly sad if she dies as well.

These two that remained have always had simliar symptoms to the ones that didn't make it as well, but I was always hoping they wouldn't progress further. Guess I was not correct in that assumption.

[rubs face in hands] As you can tell, I'm not quite there right now. Everytime I lose one of my pets, no matter how many I lose, it's like the first time. I lose a part of myself and I become very emotionally drained for the next couple days afterwards - whether or not I've cried a lot, they are just a part of me. So I am sitting in my room with Chase in her spot, she's been quiet, but at least eating and surviving. I really hope she keeps going. It hurts too much to lose them. My littlest dog, Amber, is lying next to me on the bed and my other dog, Sabrina, and her keep checking on the baby chick that survives.

And, as with the other two. I buried Amara outside in the chicken coop in a small box with a purple washcloth. Lily helped. Aggravatingly though. But, she did her part.

Once again ... http://adventuresinchicken.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html - the dangers of cedar chips people ... :'(

That's all before I start crying again...