Friday, June 13, 2008

Now sadness turns to anger as Chase passes away.

Not one day after I wake up to find Amara passed away do I lose Chase. Same thing as everyone else. I thought, as you can read in the other post, that she might make it, but I truly wasn't sure. I thought she was getting her strength back. But truthfully, I think that half her problem was pure heartbreak. She was constantly coming to the edge of her home and screaming so I would go over and take her out to hold her. I think she did die more of a broken heart.

I would place a shirt on the bed, lay down, then place her on the shirt. She would stumble around and come to lay by my face, cuddling in and going to sleep. I told my mom when I had her hold her sometimes was that I was trying to keep her awake. Same with Haley if you remember. I was trying to keep her awake so she'd eat more, bit she just didn't have the strength for it. I'm not going into the story. You can read the other's stories here->

They followed the same path as their sisters. As I pointed out to my mom when she thought she was doing well, her body wasn't as big as it should've been.

She suffered a heart attack at 5 pm - shortly after this video was taken. As you can see, her wings are larger than her body, which should be the other way around. I was feedng her some ground food, as well as some cat food to give her some extra - much needed, protein.

So yes, I'm sad, but more so ... angry. I'm angry that this had to happen so maybe others will learn. I'm angry that they didn't get to be spoiled like my other chickens were. It just plain old pisses me off. I want to hit things right now. I want to yell. I want to scream. But instead I will write because I'm in a very aggressive mood right now.

I am hoping that through my pain - at the very least - people will learn. As once someone told me, "The people that can handle the pain are the ones that are put through it. They are the ones strong enough to deal with it. They are put through the pain because through their pain is how others learn. That is why you had to go through pain like this, because you are strong enough to handle it, and in turn, you will help others learn." I agree.

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